Autumn 2007

Early childhood education & care

Can you teach empathy?

Everyone hears only what he understands.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

When Bob Bellhouse was invited to attend a presentation day at a local primary school, he was curious. Why would the principal consider a presentation afternoon so interesting?

At first, I was beginning to question whether I should have been so trusting. There was an introduction by a local politician, the year 6 students had a wonderful time showing videos of themselves, the school captains for the following year were announced and some awards were given for children who had excelled in numerous ways. Nothing particularly unusual, the format was just like presentation afternoons I had seen many times before, except for one thing. The last award almost brought a tear to my eye.

I had some prior knowledge of the events leading up to this award. A child had been marginalised by her class, and was being bullied. Not in an openly aggressive or spiteful way, but rather, as is often the case, more subtly. The behaviour was difficult to identify, it occurred out of view of the teachers and the victim had limited skills to comprehend or articulate her predicament.

Fortunately, another child in the class, quietly, persistently and courageously, refused to join with the ruling clique. She paired with the isolated student in class, she consistently pointed out to the other children their insensitive behaviour and she defended the victim when she was being set up. For her trouble, she had a couple of tough, and at times, lonely years.

So when the principal stood out front, and introduced the Regional Director’s Award, one per school, with an inscription, ‘Whoever you are, be good at it’, I realised why I had been invited.

The young girl who I had come to greatly admire, was about to be celebrated. There were many confused looks in the hall as the principal announced the young girl’s name and asked her to come forward and receive her award for significant acts of kindness. I thought I had witnessed a rare moment in education, one in which the emotional curriculum had been ranked in a space normally preserved for academic excellence and sport.

So can you teach empathy? While it is true that empathy is an innate characteristic, it is also a sophisticated imaginative skill. It needs to be nurtured in order for it to develop with age. Preschool children tend to be self-centred and only feel empathy towards those that are either familiar or similar. In the early years of primary school, empathic children are able to recognise clear expressions of emotion and make connections between emotions and immediate causes. They also begin to differentiate between motives, like the difference between an intentional act and one that is an accident.

By the middle years of primary school, children who are empathic are moving from a preoccupation with their own needs towards some level of recognition of the needs of others. At the same time, the thoughts and behaviours of children are increasingly influenced by the emergence of a more sophisticated value set. Children begin to recognise behaviour as generous or selfish, trustworthy or unreliable, kind or mean, as opposed to naughty and nice. In terms of empathy, developing an articulate set of values helps a child to reflect on their empathic responses, and ultimately, to manage these responses. For instance, a child may feel empathy for his friend who is pleading not to be dobbed in for vandalising the school. What will prevail: compassion or civic responsibility? Clearly, empathy needs to be tempered by judgement. Together, empathy and judgement help guide children as they experiment with interpersonal skills like negotiation, conflict management, decision making and social problem solving.

Consequently, there are two main parts to empathy—the emotional and the cognitive. The emotional is the ability to feel for another. The cognitive is to imagine from another’s perspective, and then to judge or evaluate that feeling, as a basis for action. Providing children with experience, support and guidance is critical when they are developing their capacity to evaluate and act. Empathic children who evaluate with support, reason and compassion, develop emotionally and cognitively.

Empathy that is evaluated poorly may lead to emotional difficulties, like contagion and emotional pain and isolation (when people are oversensitive to the feelings of others).

Furthermore, over exposure to emotions of others before a child is able to cope with the experience may lead to a suppression of feelings. Consequently, parents and teachers have an obligation to provide a level of protection for children that allows for their emotional development. Where over exposure has occurred, as in cases like abuse or grief, professional assistance may be required.

So how do you teach empathy? While the teaching of emotional and social skills is not an exact science, empathy may be guided and nurtured at school through:

• school policies that encourage and celebrate empathy
• a safe and supportive school culture that includes service education and community involvement
• behaviour management programs like ‘The No Blame Approach’ to ‘Bullying and Restorative Justice’. By taking children through a process of understanding, both programs ignite the empathy within children to produce remarkable results
• classroom opportunities to develop emotional awareness and social responsibility through programs like ‘Circle Time’
• role modelling by teachers and parents.

The last point is particularly important. Role models who promote empathy help children to develop emotional awareness. They recognise emotionally charged moments as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching and are able to demonstrate caring behaviour and provide a safe environment. The role models are attentive to and validate feelings, which helps children to express themselves and also to make sound choices.

Role models who hinder empathic development are more likely to avoid or dismiss negative emotions. They are also more critical of a child’s negative emotions, and fail to offer guidance.

Schools that make the effort to teach empathy will find that it becomes pervasive, with broad implications for policy, behaviour management, and ultimately, pedagogy. And furthermore, it is likely to deliver some unexpected surprises academically. But that is a discussion for another time.

References

Some sections of this article are taken from Bellhouse, B, Agterhuis, F, Deed, C & Johnston, G (2006). Walking in Other Shoes: Empathy and deep understanding for middle to senior primary students, Inyahead Press, Victoria.

Bob Bellhouse is an educational writer and publisher for Inyahead Press in Queenscliff, Victoria.

The author owns the copyright in this article. For information related to the reuse of this work in any form please contact the publisher denise.quinn@curriculum.edu.au